*****
Chapter Thirty Eight.
Painful Truths.
Buffy decided to wait for Spike before ordering dinner. She left Cooper watching TV and went to take a shower.
Cooper watched her go, shaking his head and wondering what Spike would do, if she wasn’t able to come to terms with her new life. He hoped Spike was right in believing she was strong. She would need strength. It was exactly what she needed to carry her through the next few months of hard transition. Now, more than ever, she would benefit from the training he’d decided to give her and he would definitely insist on Spike taking an active role in that training.
He wondered exactly what had triggered Spike’s confrontation with Gilbey. There was that hideous business with the girl, but Cooper didn’t think it was that or at least not solely that.
He’d been surprised and tickled pink when he’d walked through the gym door and seen the two blondes fooling around. Spike had clearly been about to get very into something with Buffy and as far as he could tell, Buffy hadn’t seemed to mind that one little bit, especially if her breathy moans and flushed face were anything to go by. He’d noticed Luke’s look of mild surprise, but he hadn’t caught sight of Gilbey’s reaction to stumbling in on their boss and his pretty hostage before Buffy had seen them and screamed. Then Spike was jumping up all antagonistic and glaring at them. Cooper had to admit he’d been intrigued and charmed by the brief glimpse he got of Buffy and her very sexy lavender bra…he could definitely see the attraction.
The only conclusion Cooper could come to was that Gilbey had been stupid enough to stare at Buffy too long or in the wrong way, which instantly pissed Spike off and triggered his out burst. If so, Spike wouldn’t let the matter go. Gilbey would pay for the mistake and Buffy would have to learn not to interfere between Spike and his men.
*****
Luke watched his boss unwind the protective wrappings from his hands. Gilbey lay unconscious on the matting and Luke knew he would probably have a couple of broken ribs to go along with the multitude of bruises that were already beginning to appear on his face and upper body.
He glanced at Spike. He didn’t seem satisfied that he’d beaten the scarred man unconscious. In fact, he still looked pissed off and Luke was beginning to worry that Spike’s jealously over Buffy would continually come between him and his men. They’d all have to be extra careful how they looked at her, if this was the way he was going to react every time he thought someone was out of line.
Not one to worry about voicing his concerns, Luke asked, “Is this going to happen often?”
Spike scowled at him. “It bleedin’ better not.”
“It’s just that Cooper’s up stairs with her now. Does he need to worry you’ll be stringing him up and thrashing him with a bull whip ‘cause he smiled at her?”
Spike was in no mood to explain himself. He was still pissed off and pounding on Gilbey hadn’t done a thing to lift his mood, but he knew Luke wouldn’t let it rest and besides, he had everything backwards.
“Is that what you think this was ‘bout…that I got pissed at Gil ‘cause he looked at her wrong?”
“Wasn’t it?”
“No. Well not entirely.” He frowned he hadn’t intended to fill Luke in on all the details of Gilbey’s attack until he was ready to act on it, but now he had no choice. He was going away for the weekend and Gilbey would need careful watching while he was away. He bloody well didn’t need another shredded whore lying in one of the beds to come back to. Disgusted, he looked at Gilbey, lying spread eagle on the floor. He fought the urge to kick him.
“Get rid of him…put him in one of the empty cells in the holdin’ rooms and come and find me in fifteen minutes. I’ll be in my study.” Spike didn’t give Luke a chance to reply, he simply strode away in the direction of the showers, stopping only long enough to pick up Buffy’s t-shirt
*****
Spike put a glass of JD on the desk and pushed it towards Luke asking, “What do you think of Buffy?”
The question surprised the big man. His boss had never asked him his opinion about a woman before and Luke wasn’t sure he liked that he was being asked now. The wrong answer could be a disaster, but it wasn’t Luke’s habit to be afraid.
“I take it you want my honest opinion?” he said.
Spike rolled his eyes. “I wouldn’t ‘ave bleedin’ asked if I didn’t…now would I?”
Luke shrugged. “I think she’s smart and brave, if a bit or even a lot naïve, but that’s because she’s young. She’ll grow out of that quick enough around here,” he took a pull on his drink. “I think given enough time she’ll learn all the rules and procedures we all take for granted…in short I think she’ll fit in just fine…eventually.”
“So you like her?”
“Yeah sure…what’s not to like. She’s sweet and honest and like you said she’s sassy and brave.”
Spike looked at him in a steady measuring way. “Yeah, she is all those things and more. I’ve decided to keep her.”
Luke nodded. He hadn’t really needed his boss to tell him Ms. Summers was going to be a permanent member of the family, but then it was Spike’s way to always state his intentions to Luke if he thought something was going to effect things in a big way, and Buffy was certainly affecting things in a very big way.
“Okay, Ms. Summer’s stays. I guessed as much when you backed her up this morning.”
Spike lit a cigarette sucking on it hard. Angrily he said, “Gilbey needs watching. I’m takin’ Buffy away for the weekend and I don’t want to come back to any fuck ups or dead whores. ‘ave Dixon tail him if he leaves the house and try to keep him and Wesley apart.”
“Do you think he’d do it again?”
“Are you tellin’ me you think he won’t?”
“So is that what it was about…because of that kid. Do you think he’ll do something stupid again maybe even something to Ms. Summers?”
Spike was silent for a long time his steady look turning cold and hard. “He already has,” he said through gritted teeth.
Calmly Luke gazed at him. “Did Ms. Summers tell you that?”
“No. Wesley did, and I ‘ave no reason to doubt him. I ‘aven’t talked to Buffy ‘bout it yet, but from what Wesley told me she was too afraid to tell me ‘cause she thought I’d blame her,” he ground out.
Luke knew this was bad, but he had to ask. “What did he do?”
“He attacked her. Wesley caught him in time before he could do any real damage, but he reckons if he hadn’t walked in when he did Gilbey would’ve done a lot more than jus’ pin her down and tear her clothes,” his voice was icy and so were his eyes as he stared at Luke. “He’ll pay for touchin’ her. No one touches what’s mine, no one.”
This was so much worse than Luke had first thought. It was one thing to look at her in a certain way or tease her, but Gilbey had crossed a line that should never be crossed. Luke didn’t need to ask Spike what he was going to do.
“Do you need me to make any arrangements?”
With that question Spike knew Luke not only understood what he was going to do, but that he was willing to offer his support.
“No. I’ve got everything covered. Jus’ watch him while I’m away.” He crushed his cigarette out and swallowed his drink in one gulp. “I don’t need to tell you to keep your gob shut ‘bout this. Buffy and the others aren’t to know a thing. She doesn’t need to ‘ave a thing like this on her conscience and the others will find out ‘bout it when it’s over, but Buffy’s never to know…you understand me?” Spike fixed him with a chilly glare.
“Absolutely…boss.”
The two men stood up at the same time.
“I’ll let Gilbey spend the night in the holding rooms,” Luke said.
“Okay, but I don’t want to see him until after breakfast. Oh! By the way Faith will be ‘ere in the mornin’ with the others. It might be a good idea if you hung around. Let Buffy see Faith can cope with seein’ you again. She seems to think Faith will be upset or something.”
Luke arched a brow at that statement. “Angry and spitting mad probably, but I doubt she’d be upset in the way you’re implying.”
“You sound like you’re sure ‘bout that.”
His hand on the door handle Luke smirked at him. “I am.”
“OH?”
“Yeah, I got her address from one of Glory’s men when we paid her a visit. I thought I’d drop by. You know, get to know her a bit better,” Spike looked mildly surprised. “She wasn’t too happy to see me at first, but she came around. I was planning on seeing her again this weekend, but with this business with Gilbey I’ll catch up with her another time.”
“I see…and what makes you think she’d be spittin’ mad?”
“She thinks I should pay her for the first time. She says I owe her for the fuck and the dress.”
Spike chuckled. “I knew it. Buffy has a lot to learn ‘bout her friends,” he smirked at Luke. “So is she any good?”
Luke opened the door for his boss his face fixed in a bland expression that matched his tone of voice. “What can I say…the woman’s a wildcat…in or out of the bed. Who knows I might even buy her a dress one of these days.”
Spike merely chuckled as he made his way to the elevator.
*****
He was still in an oppressed mood when he got upstairs. He figured he would have to do some damage control with Buffy. She would probably either be hurt or mad at him for yelling at her. As he pushed the door open he braced himself for a confrontation of one kind or another, but was completely surprised when she gave him a weak smile from the couch.
He returned the smile with an equally weak one of his own. Cooper was sitting with her and Spike noticed they were playing chess. It was a relief to see them interacting. He realized he should’ve noticed Buffy never acted in any way friendly or natural with Gilbey, but she had with Wesley and now she seemed at ease with Cooper. At the time he’d thought she was just being her usual stubborn and defiant self…rebelling against her captivity.
Sighing he draped her t-shirt over the back of the couch and asked. “Have you eaten pet?”
“No I thought I’d wait for you. Would you like me to order now?” She could see he’d showered and changed and though she looked carefully he didn’t look hurt or bruised anywhere she could see.
“Yeah that’d be fine. Ask the kitchen for a large steak I’m starved.” He went to the bar and fixed himself a drink. “Can I fix either of you a drink?”
Buffy shook her head, but Cooper guessing Spike wanted him to stay said yes. Spike carried the drinks over to the seating area. Buffy was on the phone ordering the food so Cooper leaned over and whispered. “Is everything okay?”
Spike frowned and looked at him. “Yeah sure, he’ll wake up sore, but he’ll live.”
Cooper nodded and seemed satisfied with his answer. Buffy sat back down in her spot on the couch looking from Spike to Cooper. “I ordered enough for Cooper since he’s not eaten. You don’t mind do you?” she asked Spike.
“Course not pet, I should’ve thought of that.” He glanced at Cooper. “Sorry Coop I didn’t realize you’d missed dinner, but never mind it looks like the lady’s got it covered,” he smiled at Buffy.
Cooper launched into a conversation about some football game that was to be televised later that night and pretty soon the two men were engaged in a good natured, but heated debate about the two team’s chances of winning.
Dinner arrived and Buffy instructed Jonathan to set everything up at the table in the corner. They’d never eaten at that table before as Spike always seemed to prefer to eat on the balcony even when it was full dark. Buffy figured that since they both seemed keen on seeing the football game it would be a good idea to dine inside so they wouldn’t miss the beginning.
Buffy didn’t add much to the conversation at dinner preferring to let the men talk of sports and athletes wash over her. She often noticed Spike looking at her with a serious look in his eyes. She wondered what was going on behind those intelligent blue orbs. Sometimes the way he looked at her made her feel as if he could read her mind. Though she knew that was a stupid notion. She looked at him as he talked to Cooper and was surprised to see he looked tired. Buffy had never seen him look tired before. He always seemed to have such vast stores of energy and she guessed that whatever had happened with Gilbey must’ve drained him of his reserves.
A horrible thought suddenly occurred to her. What if Gilbey had said something to him about what had happened, possibly painting a twisted picture of the real events in an effort to put the blame on her? Fear gripped her heart for an instant, but Buffy shook it off unwilling to allow her fears to overtake her. She reassured herself that if Gilbey had done such a thing Spike would probably have burst through the doors and grabbed her by the throat. Besides, what could Gilbey hope to gain by even mentioning the whole thing anyway? No, she was safe, Spike didn’t know a thing.
*****
Buffy left Spike and Cooper to watch their football game and escaped into the bedroom telling Spike she was going to read for a while. Without thought she moved to him and kissed him on the cheek before mumbling a goodnight to Cooper and heading towards the bedroom.
Spike watched her go. Her kiss tingling his skin and producing a small smile on his lips. Cooper diplomatically refrained from making a comment and pretended not to see Buffy’s unconscious display of affection. Spike looked damned pleased so Cooper supposed the little kiss had affected him quite deeply. He remembered the conversation he had with his friend and boss about the tiny blonde, and realized that if given the chance the couple stood a good chance of making each other happy. The years with Drusilla had left Spike drained and used. His misplaced affection for the dark beauty had jaded him in so many ways. Buffy had come along at just the right time to help heal the wounds the other woman had inflicted. Now it was just a matter of time and if they could bond it might prove to be a mutually beneficial relationship.
Once they were settled back on the couch Cooper filled him in on the conversation he’d had with Buffy. He was glad Spike thought it was a good idea her training was handled by both of them. He agreed with Spike that Buffy’s aversion to violence probably stemmed from her inability to control a situation and that once she learned how to defend herself she would view things very differently.
Spike then gave him a brief run down of the events that occurred in the gym with Gilbey. Luke had stayed as Cooper thought he would and Spike admitted he hadn’t given Gilbey the chance to apologise or explain himself before he gave him a sound ass kicking. He didn’t give a blow by blow account and Cooper didn’t expect him too, but he did ask what had pissed him off so much to begin with.
Spike was conscious that Buffy was only in the next room so he kept his voice low and gave Cooper a very brief explanation. He told the other man he’d caught Gilbey staring at Buffy on more than one occasion and definitely in an inappropriate way when they were in the gym. He explained he’d seen Gilbey trying to shuffle to the side to get a better angle to look at her and that’s when he’d lost his temper.
Cooper nodded his understanding. He commented that after the beating Gilbey had just taken he wouldn’t make that mistake again and with him watching Buffy he wouldn’t get the chance. Spike nodded and turned his attention to the TV.
*****
As Spike climbed into bed Buffy turned to look at him. The room was dark, but he could see she was alert. He slid over next to her, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulled her close.
“Still awake kitten,” he whispered, kissing her neck.
“Why did you do that Spike? It wasn’t necessary.”
He immediately became rigid and annoyed. “He pissed me off. He shouldn’t ‘ave been lookin’ at you like that.”
“Spike they were all looking at me and they couldn’t really see anything. I was very careful to stay behind you,” she said.
“No Buffy. You know damn well he was lookin’ at you differently. Now I’m not going to discuss this with you, ‘cause you know I’m right and that’s the end of the matter.”
“But…”
“NO…and while we’re on the subject don’t ever try to question me like that in front of my men again, especially when it concerns them. I ‘ave strict rules of conduct around ‘ere Buffy and the first one is no one questions me. You didn’t see Cooper or Luke questionin’ me did ya?” he said gruffly.
She stiffened in his arms, but he tried to make her understand. “No doubt there’ll be things that you’ll be able to persuade me to change my mind on, but you must know that I ‘ave to maintain discipline. They don’t call me boss jus’ ‘cause I pay their wages. It’s a sign of respect and that respect wouldn’t last long if I didn’t keep a tight hold of things. I make the rules, I give the orders and they obey. That’s the way it works and although I’m willin’ to bend or soften that for you a bit, it still applies to you in general and always in front of my men. I can’t ‘ave them thinkin’ I’ve gone soft, ‘cause no matter how much I want you or how beautiful I think you are I’m not ‘bout to let you weaken me.”
Luke had said something similar. Buffy wondered how either of them could think she was capable of weakening or influencing Spike in such a way, but then it occurred to her that Spike was probably thinking about Angel and how he’d defected from the family after meeting her. Surely Spike must know that only happened because Angel was in love with her. Angel had genuinely wanted a different life for himself away from the corruption of Masters and his family, even if it did mean a life without her.
She was irritated by what Spike had said, but she didn’t want to push her luck and have him lose his temper. She’d known all along he ruled his men with an iron will and he certainly dominated her at every turn, so his behaviour in the gym was only in keeping with everything she knew of him so far. “I’m sorry, I won’t do it again,” she said, her irritation ringing in her voice.
Spike sighed. He knew he’d annoyed her, but he’d have had to put her in her place sooner or later. From his point of view it was better his men clearly saw he wouldn’t let her get away with questioning or defying him then try and baby her. Luke had made a good point when he’d said she would fit in just fine…eventually, so he ignored her irritation and snuggled into her.
“Buffy I don’t want to argue with you. I ache all over and all I really want right now is a nice wank and a good nights sleep, but since you’re in a mood I doubt I’ll get the hand job so I’ll settle for a good sleep,” he yawned as if to emphasize just how tired he was. “So come ‘ere and give me a kiss and let’s get some rest.”
He rolled slightly trapping her beneath him seeking her mouth with his. She resisted his kiss, but he wasn’t about to let her back slide and start fighting him again, not when he was this close to possessing her completely. He nibbled and licked her lips coaxing her to open her mouth, but she was annoyed and being stubborn so he left her mouth in favour of her neck knowing she was very sensitive there.
Buffy couldn’t help it. He was kissing and licking her neck in all the right places, in all the right ways. She moaned hating herself for her weakness. She tried to push him off, but he trapped her hands and kissed his way down her throat across her collarbone and over her shoulders.
Spike chuckled when he heard her little moan. He kissed the soft skin of her shoulders she smelled so nice and girly; like a delicate flower. He breathed her in, letting her pretty scent fill him. He lowered his mouth and kissed the soft swell of her breast, seeking the spot where he’d marked her. In the dim light he could just make out the faint bruise. He licked the blemish gently before sucking on it deeply. Buffy gasped and he quickly lifted his head to capture her mouth in a deep kiss. Satisfied he’d achieved what he’d set out to do, he rubbed his hard length against her hip causing her to moan into his mouth. Gently, he sucked on her tongue deepening the kiss and forcing her to respond to him. Gradually, Buffy returned the kiss her mouth moving skilfully against his.
When he ended the kiss they were both breathless.
“Bastard,” she whispered.
Spike chuckled kissing the end of her nose. “Yes pet, I certainly am, but I think you like that I’m a bastard. I think you like it a lot.” He released her hands and moved off of her, half asleep before he’d finished rolling back to his side of the bed. “Good night pet,” he mumbled patting her bum.
Buffy fumed at his arrogance and smacked his hand. Spike chuckled sleepily as he rolled away from her. Buffy glared at his back, her temper very close to boiling over at his casual treatment. Angry, she lay next to him listening to him breathe steadily, wondering how he could sleep so peacefully when he knew she was annoyed with him. Then she reminded herself, the reason he had no trouble sleeping was simply because he didn’t care about her feelings, as long as she did as she was told and submitted to him. He probably wouldn’t trouble himself over her emotions.
Unable to sleep she slipped from the bed and went into the sitting room. She settled herself on the couch and searched the TV for a late night movie, hoping to find something to distract her from thoughts of Spike and Gilbey and Angel and Spike…and that in only one more day she would have to give herself to him. She wanted to talk to her mother, but even though she would be talking to her in the morning she knew she would be unable to talk to her about her real concerns.
The girls would also be arriving in the morning and she wasn’t sure she would be able to talk to them. Not with Cooper most likely listening in. She smiled when she thought about Cooper. She liked him. He reminded her of Wesley. He was friendly and seemed sincere and they both reminded her of her friend and old boss Giles. Thoughts of her old life saddened her. The loss was still pretty raw. Yet she knew it would do her no good to dwell on those things.
There was nothing on the TV so she grabbed a DVD from the shelf and stuck it in the machine. Spike had a surprising collection of movies, ranging from horror and action to comedy and romantic classics. She settled for a romantic comedy hoping the silly light-hearted movie would lift her sprits. Her mind wandered as she thought about what would happen on Saturday. She would become Spike’s mistress. She tried to imagine what their first time would be like and found herself remembering her first time with Angel instead. The fireworks exploding over the dark water, turning the ocean to a beautiful fragmented mirror and how for a few moments at a time, reflected the brilliant colours back at them before sucking them into the inky blackness. For once Buffy allowed herself to remember how she had felt wrapped in Angel’s arms. Safe, adored, loved. She smiled sadly at the memory. The movie played for an hour or so before she started to feel sleepy. Her eyes drifted shut as her mind slipped into slumber and that’s how Spike found her.
She was laying on the couch fast asleep while the TV cast a blue white glow over her. He sat on the edge of the coffee table watching her for a few moments. He loved watching her sleep she was so small and childlike. Looking at her he wondered if he woke her would she still be mad at him. Then realized it didn’t matter she couldn’t spend the night on the couch. She needed a good nights rest and so did he, but he wouldn’t get that if she wasn’t next to him.
Gently, he shook her awake. She grumbled and turned over burying herself deeper into the couch cushions. He tried again, but she absently swatted his hands away mumbling something about starlight on water and coloured blooms. Spike chuckled, he’d only heard her talk in her sleep once before and he blamed that on her migraine. Okay, maybe he couldn’t get her to bed, but the couch was big. He could sleep with her. Carefully he stretched out beside her and settled the blanket over both of them. Instantly she turned to him and snuggled against his chest Spike smiled at her, a sense of happiness swelling inside him.
Gently he kissed her brow and she nuzzled his neck mumbling against his skin. Her breath caressed him as she kissed him and softly sighed.
“Angel.”
Spike froze.
He held his breath listening hard to her, but deep sleep must have claimed her because she didn’t speak again.
Spike’s heart was thundering in his chest and a sudden sweat chilled him. There was no mistaking what she’d said. Though she’d murmured it soft and low…almost breathlessly.
He was angry. She’d kissed him and sighed Angel’s name. He was raging. She’d kissed him and sighed Angel’s name.
Gritting his teeth he carefully manoeuvred himself off the couch. Buffy slept on, oblivious to his white hot rage and boiling hate. He stared at her feeling more anger and rage towards her, than he’d ever felt before. It was too close to what Angel had tormented him with. Stories of Buffy happy and carefree, sighing his name softly as he made love to her…sighing his name as she fell asleep in his arms…sighing his name as she slept…sighing his name.
It kept going round and round in his head.
She was still in love with Angel and somehow she’d managed to lie to him. Why else would she whisper his name in her sleep? Spike was sure of it.
When Angel had told him stories about himself and Buffy in love it had brought the entries in the journals vividly to life. Spike had wanted to lash out and hurt Angel which was why he’d told him about his encounter with her in the poolroom. Maybe they had been in love. Maybe they still were, but she was his now and whether she was in love with Angel or not he wasn’t going to let her go. The weekend loomed ahead of him and she’d agreed to submit to him willingly. Spike had a feeling she would try to back out or stall him somehow, but he was prepared for that. If she did she was in for a nasty shock. She was his and he’d waited long enough. Her time was up and he wasn’t going to back down or relent in any way.
Leaving her to sleep on the couch he went back to bed with his angry thoughts swirling in his head. Spike could feel things were about to change again, but this time he vowed he wouldn’t be the one to end up hurting.
*****
Buffy[AD1] woke up stiff and sore and chilled on the couch. Spike was standing in front of her with a cup of coffee in his hand. He placed the cup on the table and retreated back to the cart to fetch his own.
Rubbing the sleep from her eyes Buffy struggled to sit up. “Oh God, I hate it when I fall asleep in front of the TV,” she groaned.
“Well maybe if you didn’t want to fall asleep in front of the TV you should have stayed in bed,” Spike said dryly.
Grouchy, she replied. “Well if someone hadn’t annoyed me maybe I’d have been able to sleep.”
“And yet you still managed it on the couch,” he snapped.
Buffy frowned. He was in a mood. She supposed it could be because of what had happened with Gilbey or the disagreement they’d had when he came to bed. Or it could be that it pissed him off to wake up and find her not in bed with him. Yeah, that’s probably it, selfish pig that he is, he’s probably miffed because he didn’t get to fool around this morning. Well maybe he shouldn’t take things for granted, she thought.
Finishing her coffee she uncurled from the couch stretching sluggish muscles. Pointedly, she ignored him and sauntered off to the shower. She closed the door and breathed a sigh of relief glad to have a moment to herself. Spike must have been up for a little while. He’d obviously showered and changed before coming to wake her. She wondered how long he was going to sulk. Then she shrugged and thought that since he’d been so mean to her the night before, two could play at that game. He should know her well enough by now to realize that if he snapped at her she would snap back.
When she came out of the bedroom she wasn’t surprised to find he’d left for breakfast without her. Marti was the guard on duty and he escorted her to the dinning room politely making small talk all the way down in the elevator. Buffy was laughing at some silly nonsense he was telling her about Jonathan and an accident with one of the food carts. She was still laughing when they reached the dinning room door. They entered the room. One look at Spike’s face and her laughter froze. The look in his eyes was decidedly cold and angry. Marti wisely backed away and escaped the nasty glare being directed at him. Silently, Buffy crossed the room and sat down. Spike joined her at the table scowling angrily. The other men followed him one step behind. Buffy noticed Gilbey was missing from the breakfast table.
When she lifted her eyes to glance at Spike he was glaring at her. “Next time you’ll wait for me before sittin’ at my table. Like everyone else,” he said coldly.
Buffy frowned and scanned his face. She was taken aback by his mean words and frosty tone. Her face flushing with embarrassment, she replied. “If you prefer I could just leave.”
“If you dare move from that chair, I’ll tie you to it…‘cause we both know how well that works in keepin’ you right where I want you,” he said with quiet menace.
Buffy gasped. She was acutely aware of everyone looking at her. She caught surprised looks from Cooper and Wesley, but Dixon and Luke’s expressions remained blank and unreadable. A sure sign they were waiting to see if Spike required anything from them. They both seemed alert and ready for action.
Buffy met Spike’s cold gaze with a bluff courage. “And what you want is all that counts…right?”
“Not always. I want you, but you don’t count for nothin’ unless I say so, and right now I say sit there, eat your breakfast and shut your gob unless I tell you to speak.” The look in his eyes dared her to reply.
Buffy realized he was a lot more than just in a mood. He looked ready to snap her neck. She knew by now when not to push him and this was definitely one of those times. She dropped her eyes to the table confused as to what had set him off this time. Wisely she kept quiet.
“See, you can do as you’re told,” she shot him a hateful look and he smirked at her. “And now that Ms. Summers is in her place we can get on.”
The double meaning wasn’t lost on Buffy and she felt her cheeks burning as Spike began to conduct the usual breakfast meeting. The kitchen staff appeared and served everyone as the business talk rolled from one person to the next. Each man passed her their client lists and Spike reminded her of her deadlines and again she took note of his double meaning.
Breakfast was a long and torturous affair and not once did he address her in such a way that required her to make a reply. He deliberately excluded her from the conversation and except for the orders about the client list he ignored her completely.
Finally when the ordeal was over he pointedly dismissed her like a servant. Buffy escaped to the study to make her call to her mother with Spike close on her heels.
She sat at her desk waiting for the switchboard to connect her. Spike lurked at his desk making no effort to give her any privacy. She could hear a ringing tone and smiled as she heard her mother’s voice come on the line.
The conversation didn’t last too long, but for the fifteen minutes Buffy was on the phone she felt a lightening of her spirits. She listened to her mother tell her about the highlights of her trip. It sounded as if they were having a wonderful time and that it was turning out to be a great business success.
Buffy filled her mother in on a few of the changes that had occurred in her life. She explained about her new job and her change of address. Her mother was a bit surprised, but she was delighted with the invitation to visit. Buffy had expected her to ask more questions and she even expressed her surprise to her mother when she didn’t. Joyce Summers then surprised Buffy again by telling her she was quite satisfied with the fact that Buffy had already informed her about the changes in her life and since Buffy was an adult, she didn’t feel it was necessary to quiz her over all the decisions in her life or her reasons for making them. Buffy was speechless and wondered about the irony of it all. Why! Oh! Why! Does my mother choose now to treat me like an adult? Why couldn’t she be the ‘nosy, ask a million questions, and then a load more, kind of mother’ from my childhood and teen years? No, it would clearly be too much to ask to have her ask all the right questions now, Buffy thought.
Sighing, Buffy moved the topic onto safer ground. She told her mom about Willow’s happy news which took up the last five minutes of call time. When she rung off Buffy was feeling both happy and sad, a mixed and confused state she was beginning to suspect would be a permanent part of her life from now on.
Spike was looking at her through hooded eyes, his expression giving nothing of his feelings away, but Buffy didn’t need an obvious facial expression to tell her he was angry with her. She thought she knew the cause of his mood earlier, now she realized she’d got it wrong. He was angry. He was very angry, but she didn’t know why.
Rising from his desk he slowly closed the distance between them until he was standing directly in front of her.
He gazed down at her, a cold hard light in his blue eyes. Gently, he brushed her hair back from her face saying, “You did that very well. Who’d ‘ave guessed you could lie so well. It makes me wonder what else you’ve managed to lie ‘bout.”
Buffy blinked at him, baffled. He was beginning to frighten her. He’d been so cold and angry with her since she woke and she could tell somehow things had reverted back to how he’d treated her when she first arrived. Something was definitely off with him, but what? In the few weeks she’d known him she’d come to learn that although he was prone to rapid mood swings, he never maintained a bad mood for long. He would usually rant and rave, blow his top yelling and swearing getting it out of his system, but today something was different with his mood. He’d been angry with her since she first opened her eyes. Yet he’d not confronted her about what she’d done to annoy him. Buffy wished he would just yell and rant at her or grab her like he usually did and try to kiss her. Then it occurred to her he hadn’t even tried to touch her let alone kiss her. Now she knew something major was wrong.
She stood up and faced him. “What’s wrong? Why are you so angry?”
He stared at her cold and remote. Suddenly he grabbed her and pushed her down on the desk. She yelped in surprise and fright.
“I don’t like being lied to Buffy. I’ve told you countless times not to lie to me, but I still keep findin’ you ‘ave.” His face was inches from hers. She could feel his angry breath on her cheek as he hissed at her.
Her heart was thundering fearfully in her breast. She was afraid to move, to breathe. His cold blue eyes stared into hers and she was sure he was about to do something terrible to her, but just as the thought crossed her mind, he released her and pushed her into her chair.
There was a knock at the door and Cooper walked in. “Ms. Summers friends are here, I’ve put them in the lounge,” he glanced between Buffy and Spike, absorbing the extreme tension. His eyes settled on Buffy. “I’ll wait for you there,” he said and closed the door.
She looked at Spike. He was staring at her, breathing hard. Buffy stared back at him afraid to speak.
Quickly, he pulled her from the chair and pushed her against the door, kissing her hard. Buffy held still, submitting to the kiss. She couldn’t respond to him, there was nothing to respond to. The kiss wasn’t fueled by passion or desire. He was punishing her.
She whimpered under the brutal pressure of his mouth and he tightened his grip on her, grinding his hips against hers. She pushed him away then, prepared to kick him if necessary. He eased back breathing hard.
“You’d better go. Cooper and your friends are waitin’…I’ll talk to you later.” He looked into her teary eyes, torn with doubts and angry with her for making him feel this way. He wanted to hurt her. “You ‘ave a nice time with your pals at the beauty parlor and don’t forget to ‘ave those sweet little toes painted pink and while you’re there get that pretty little pussy of yours all trimmed,” his hand slid down her body and rubbed her mound through her clothes. “And jus’ in case you’re wondering, that’s not a request. It’s an order. If you defy me and don’t get it done, I’ll do it myself when you get back,” he hissed as he released her and stood back.
She slapped him hard across the face, but he didn’t react the way she thought he would. He scowled at her unmoving and whispered. “I told you once before if you hit me I’ll hit back, but since I ‘aven’t got enough time to punish you now, that too will keep until later. Now get out before I change my mind.”
Slowly, she opened the door and without looking back, she crossed the hallway steadily making her way to the lounge. She took a couple of deep breaths to steady herself before going in.
She was surprised to see both Cooper and Luke in the lounge with her friends. She looked at Faith and the others, expecting to see them scared or intimidated, but they were all laughing and smiling at Cooper, who was doing his best to charm the lot of them. Buffy wondered why Luke was there. He wasn’t needed as a guard or in any other way Buffy could discern. He wasn’t even adding to the conversation. He was just sitting there observing, though he did seem to look at Faith more than the other two.
Cordy spotted Buffy in the doorway and called a hello. Hiding her emotions, Buffy offered them a warm smile and greeted them, but as soon as the pleasantries were exchanged, she hustled them from the room, keen to get out of the house and away from Spike even if it was only for a few hours.
As they passed Spike’s study he opened the door. The girls froze unsure whether they should just keep going or wait and see if he wanted to say something to them. Silently, Spike took in their appearances. They were all dressed casually, but casual on these beautiful women still tended to look stunning and as usual, Buffy stood out among them as the most stunning.
He fixed her with a hard glare. “I don’t need to remind you to behave while you’re away do I Buffy…or what will happen if you don’t?” he said coldly.
“No,” she replied simply, her voice flat and devoid of her feelings.
Spike nodded. “Good,” he turned around and closed the study door.
Buffy sighed and started the girls moving again. The car was waiting out front for them and Cooper opened the front passenger door for her. She made herself comfortable as the girls climbed into the back, chatting as if nothing was off. Buffy looked up to see Faith and Luke talking on the house steps. He handed her something and she looked slightly smug as she turned away from him and got into the car.
Buffy threw her a look over her shoulder and Faith just shrugged her shoulders at her. She tucked what looked like a credit card into her purse and winked at Buffy.
“Looks like he changed his mind and decided to replace my dress after all,” she said.
Buffy gaped at her. “You mean you’re letting him buy you a new dress to…to replace the one he ruined?” She was shocked.
“Yeah…sure…why not? He’s the one that tore it…bastard should pay and that’s not all he should pay for,” she replied coolly.
“Huh?” She could see Cordy and Harmony nodding.
“The bastard should pay me for the first time he screwed me.”
“FAITH! How can you say that…he raped you?” She was really shocked now.
Faith shrugged. “You might call it that, but to me it’s unpaid business.”
Buffy picked up on what she’d said. “First time, does that mean you’ve been…seeing him?” Buffy had a sick feeling she already knew the answer.
“Yeah sure his money is as good as anyone’s,” she replied off handedly.
Buffy was stunned Spike had been right all along. Annoyed because Spike had been right she snapped back.
“Oh I don’t want to hear any more. Please shut up now.” She turned back to face the front, scowling.
Cooper kept his eyes on the road and wisely stayed quiet.
“Don’t go getting holier than thou on me B…not when you’re doing what you’re doing,” Faith shot back.
Buffy jumped around in her seat. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Faith scoffed. “Guys pay me for sex B you know that…so tell me what’s Spike paying you for?”
Buffy gasped indignantly. “How dare you. He’s not paying me anything for anything.”
Cordy and Harmony shared a look.
Faith scoffed again. “Yeah right B you keep telling yourself that, but I bet he’s not asking you to chip in with the rent and utilities and that’s a great new outfit you’re wearing and tell me what else he’s bought you. Huh I bet he’s even opened a bank account for you and wouldn’t we all like to know what’s in there…and one last thing B. Who’s paying for today’s little outing?”
Buffy didn’t know what to say. She stared at her friend disbelieving her cruel words. “Why are you saying that? You know why I’m here, why I’m doing this?”
“Yeah and I know why I did it too. Welcome to our world.”
“How can you be so cruel…you know this isn’t my fault.”
“Really B…‘cause I think maybe it is. We warned you a long time ago not to get involved with Angel, but you ignored us and this is the price you’re paying for not listening, so don’t whine at me. You’re in this up to your neck and now like us, you’ll have to make the best of it.”
Faith turned her head away and gazed out the side window. Buffy looked at Cordy and Harmony, but the two girls couldn’t meet her gaze. Hurt, Buffy turned back to the front. She glanced at Cooper from the corner of her eye. He glanced at her, giving her a sympathetic smile, but Buffy could tell his opinion coincided with Faith’s. They all thought she was bought property. Spike’s property…Spike’s mistress…which was as good as saying Spike’s whore.
*****
[AD1]
FRIDAY 21ST
